The Most Amazing Story Ever Written

As he was about six feet from the ground, one of Craig's shoelaces hung on a nail. He lost his balance, falling backwards. The shoelace stayed firmly hooked on the nail, and for the first time since he had bought the boots three years ago Craig cussed the unbreakable laces he had bought. The next thing Craig knew his 475 pound body was swinging back and forth like an overweight pendulum; bashing his head on a jagged rock at the base of the tree on every swing.

"Ow, that stung!" Jason exclaimed as he rolled to a sitting position. "Ohh, that's gonna take a couple weeks to heal!" he added as he reached down and rubbed where the bullet hit him. He noticed Josh and Robbie's looks of shock and smiled. "It's nothin'; my ribs didn't grow right so I got a set of titanium plates for a ribcage. they're all kinda layered so that they can move around and grow with me." He glanced below his armpit and giggled. "For once I'm glad they had to use fake skin; I'll get my repair kit from home and in about a week I'll be good as new."

Robbie climbed out of the pool and walked over to Jason. With an evil grin on his face, he knocked on Jason's chest then began giggling when each knock made a muffled mettalic "thunk". "Hey Jason; you got metal and you got wood!" Robbie giggled.

Josh looked over Jason's injury. "You're not gonna be able to swim now, are you?"

"That's not a problem." Jason shrugged as he went over to his clothes and pulled a package out of his wallet. "I keep an emergency patch with me just in case." He opened the wrapper and pressed a thin square of clear flexible plastic over the hole. After holding it in place for a couple of minutes, he checked the edges and grinned. "Good as new; that patch will hold about twelve hours then it'll fall off and I can fix it right. Last one in is a rotten egg!"

An hour later, Kate came into the pool and smiled as she watched the three boys playing. "Okay guys, out of the water and get inside for dinner! The food's getting cold!"

The three boys scrambled out of the pool. They were halfway towards the door when they realized none of them were wearing suits. As all three turned beet red, Kate chuckled. "Thanks for reminding me guys; I need to pick up hot dogs and buns from the store. Now scoot; your food is waiting."

After dinner, the three boys headed over to Jason's place to get his patch kit and get permission for him to stay the night. Since David had already contacted the authorities about the gunshot and they had declared that it appeared safe now, Jason's parents had no problems with him staying the weekend. They ran to the store on their way back to pick up some supplies for Kate, and were on their way back when a bright light appeared in the middle of the road directly in front of them. Jason skidded to a stop and they watched in surprise as a small figure was pushed out of the object in front of them. As soon as the figure was on the ground, the object streaked off into the nighttime sky.

The three boys jumped out of the car to see what or who was just dropped in front of them. They were shocked to see a being that looked to be the size of a ten-year-old boy, with bright purple hair not only on his head but growing in a three inch strip down his spine. Other than the hair, he appeared to be a fairly normal kid.

"Uhhhh ... Hello?" Josh said in shock.

{Please don't hate me.} a voice asked in their heads.

Robbie tilted his head. "Kewl! A telepath! Can you hear our thoughts too?"

{Yes; that is how I'm learning your language.}

"Why were you just dropped off like that?" Jason asked.

{My .. parents caught me practicing reproduction with my eldest brother. If others were to find out about it I would have caused great shame to fall on our family, so they left me here to fend for myself.}

Robbie shook his head. "Stupid must be universal. What's your name?"

{I'm known as Bjorknagonspek Yajresunretorik.}

Josh smiled. "Ummm, would you mind if we shortened it to 'Bork'? That's quite a name!"

{That would be fine, if I can survive on this planet. I am not sure what to do.}

"That's easy!" Robbie replied. "You're coming home with us, I'm sure Mom and Dad will help!"

"What the heck! C'mon Bork; lets get home!" Josh added as he started towards the car.

Robbie took Bork's hand and guided him into the back seat of the car. After two minutes of waiting, Jason turned around and asked "Have you got his seat belt on yet?"

"Give me a chance!" Robbie giggled. "It's not every day that you get to be the first person to feel up someone from another planet!"

"Save some for the rest of us!" Josh giggled.

{I like you guys; you are fun!}

Fifteen minutes later, they pulled into the driveway, heads bouncing as they sung along to 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. As soon as they got out of the car, Bork helped them gather the grocery bags and they headed into the house.

They had just reached the kitchen when Kate walked in. "Did you ge..." she started to say before noticing the naked purple haired alien helping the boys unpack the groceries. "DAVID! GET IN HERE!"

David came running in. "What's wro ... oh shit!" He looked between the boys and Bork. "Guys, I don't think he was on Kate's grocery list. Could you fill me in on how we got an extra body here?"

"Relax Mom and Dad." Robbie said with a smile as he took Bork's hand. "Bork here kinda got kicked off of his spaceship for playin around with his big brother. We told him we'd help him out. Can he stay? Pleeeeeesssseeeee?"

"By 'playing around' do you mean like you and Josh were doing last night?" David asked softly.

"Umm ... yeah. How'd you know about that?" Robbie asked in shock.

David smiled. "I checked up on you guys to make sure you were okay when I heard groaning coming from the room as I walked by. By the smiles on your faces I could tell you were enjoying yourselves. Jason, from the looks that have been going between you and my sons I'll guess that you'll want to 'play' too; as long as nobody is forced and nobody gets hurt we'll allow it. Bork; seeing as the boys seem to know about you I assume you can communicate. How old are you?"

{I am approximately equal in physical maturity to an eleven year old who just had his birthday.}

David looked at Kate. "Well, I can't see putting a visitor to our planet out on the street. Can you handle another mouth?"

Kate nodded. "Why not; he's already made friends with the boys."

The next morning:

The boys were sitting watching cartoons when David and Kate staggered into the family room. "Boys, I think we need to talk." David said.

"Whats wrong Dad?" Josh asked as he turned to face them.

"Did you realize that when Bork has an orgasm, every person in the house feels it?" David asked. "I counted five last night and three this morning. At my age that wears a person out."

{You must have slept through six and seven.} Bork transmitted to the room, causing the other three boys to giggle.

David shook his head. "You guys are something else. From now on, no more playing around after midnight. It'd be hard to explain at work that my son's orgasms kept me up all night."

"On another note," Kate asked, "What can you eat Bork? Do you have any idea what foods we have that won't hurt you?"

{My food needs are similar to yours according to what I was told before I was left here. There is a substance called 'chocolate' that I was told to look for since it resembles one of our basic food needs.}

"Trust me; with Josh around chocolate is a requirement for more than you. Are you guys planning on eating breakfast nude or are you going to get dressed to eat this time?"

"Can we just put on shorts Mom?" Robbie asked as he stroked Bork's mane. "A shirt might hurt Bork back here."

"Okay; we'll see if we can figure out something comfortable for him later." Kate replied.

The boys helped Bork through breakfast with a little coaching, then they finished watching cartoons before heading into the pool for a swim. By the time lunch rolled around, they had taught Bork some basic strokes and he was enjoying the water with them. After lunch was finished, David got their attention.

"What do you guys say to going downtown for a movie?" David asked the boys.

"What about Bork?" Robbie replied.

"Josh, go get one of your tee shirts. I think we might be able to help Bork fit in enough to be in public." David said.

"Okay Dad." Josh replied as he got up and sprinted towards his bedroom. A few minutes later he came back with one of his Cardinals polo shirts. "This one should go good with his hair!"

David took the shirt, noticing that it was one that Josh had recently outgrown but was still very attached to. He helped Bork put it on and arranged Bork's hair over the collar. "How does that feel little guy?"

Bork smiled. {Good. It's not pressing hard on my neck hair at all.}

David smiled back. "As long as you keep your hair long enough to cover the collar you look like a human kid who dyed his hair purple. You'll get some strange looks, but nobody will know the real reason your hair is the color it is."

{Thank you. My hair will turn what you call blond once I hit puberty. That should be soon since I shot wet this morning.}

"That's good to know, I think!" David responded with a chuckle. "Let's load up guys!"

Kate borrowed Jason's car to get clothing for Bork while 'the boys' as she put it went out to the movie. They stopped off for ice cream along the way, all four boys somehow managing to stay clean as they enjoyed their cones.

It took five minutes for David to find a parking spot; they ended up having to park two blocks away from the theater since there was no dedicated parking lot. They were about twenty feet from the ticket window when suddenly Bork froze.

{STOP!! It smells wrong! We need to get away from here! I smell something bad!}

David turned to tell Bork not to worry, but as soon as he saw the pale frightened face looking back at him he had second thoughts. "Hold on guys! I think we need to trust your new brother on this! We'll go to the theater in Bowden instead!"

The rest of the boys had already turned around and quickly rejoined Bork. The group hurried back to the car, and had just closed the doors when they were rocked by a tremendous explosion behind them.

To Be Continued by: The Story Lover

Editor's note:

Well, looks like AC had a little bit of fun on this one! Hey Str8, looks like your shooter is gonna be having some trouble for a while ;) I seriously didn't see a way out of that cliffhanger, nice job!

Don't forget, Chapter 8 is the final planned chapter. Where it goes from there depends on the ending. Good luck TSL... I don't envy you :)

- Jeff -