Finding My Way Home

Grandma Sarah insisted that we come to her house for Thanksgiving.  I helped out by bringing some of the food and Janice and Beth brought paper plates so Grandma wouldn't have as many dishes to wash.  I was totally surprised when I walked in and saw a birthday cake on the table with my name on it.  I looked over at Grandma and she could easily see the question in my eyes.

"A little bird told me that you found out that your real birthday was on Thanksgiving Day, but you still celebrate the old birthday," she explained.  "I just thought that you should have a new birthday to go with your new family."

"Thanks, Mom," I whispered as I hugged her closely.

She held me tightly and answered, "I couldn't be prouder of you or love you more if I had given birth to you, son."

"Would you people stop making me cry all the time?" Janice demanded. "I have a reputation to protect here. How am I supposed to keep up my mean old witch image?"

"That's easy," Edan replied seriously.  "Just let people see your face, and they'll know you're a witch."

"You know you're lucky we're at Grandma Sarah's," Janice barked.  "I would so burn you for that one."

"Boys, be nice to the womenfolk, or there won't be any dessert," Grandma announced with a smile. 

The day was like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting.  It was the kind of Thanksgiving Day that I had always dreamed of having.  Shortly before dinner, Grandma had a new surprise for all of us, though.  The doorbell rang and she jumped up like a shot.  She stopped at the hallway mirror to adjust her hair.  When Ephraim offered to get the door, she quickly told him no.  She insisted on answering it herself.

"Come in, Reynold," we heard her say sweetly.  "I'm so happy you're here.  The family is here and I want you to meet everyone."  She walked back into the room with a distinguished looking older gentleman beside her.  "Everyone, this is Reynold.  He's someone special to me.  Reynold, this is my son, Cameron and his life partner, Edan.  Over there is my daughter, Beth and her life partner, Janice.  This cutie here is my grandson Derek, and the good looking guy with him is his boyfriend, Brendan.  This angel here is my other grandson, Ephraim."

Reynold stood there with his mouth hanging open for a moment.  He finally stammered, "It's a pleasure to meet you all."  He looked back at Grandma Sarah, and whispered to her, "I didn't expect your family to be here, Sarah.  You might have mentioned something about it."

"Nothing like a trial by fire," Janice joked.  He nodded shakily.

"Mom, it wasn't very nice of you to spring all of us on Reynold," I said as I watched him slowly begin to relax a little.  "It is nice to meet you, sir," I told him as I reached out to shake his hand.

"Call me Reynold," he told me.  "I guess I am just a little shell shocked.  I sort of had the impression that Sarah had no family."

"Well, when you and I met, Reynold, I didn't," she answered him.  "Everyone here adopted each other unofficially just a couple of weeks ago.  They are every bit as close to me already as if they were my flesh and blood family though."

"Well, that would explain it, I suppose," Reynold mused aloud.  "Still, it's always nice to have people you can call family.  The ones you choose are often more meaningful than the ones you are born with."

"You have no idea how true that is for the people in this room," Edan told him sincerely.  "You see, the boys are with us because they are our foster sons, with the exception of Brendan.  He and Cameron are actually half-brothers, but they only met a short time ago, and learned of their relationship after the fact."

"I have a foster son as well," Reynold told us.  "Well, he's an adult now, but he still calls me Dad, and he will always be my son.  He works for a local funeral home actually."  Reynold shuddered as he said the last part.  "It's not something I could ever do, but he really enjoys the job.  He calls himself a grief counselor with a sideline of embalming."

"EEWWW!!" my boys all shrieked.

"My sentiments exactly, guys," Reynold laughed.

"You hadn't mentioned a foster son before," Grandma Sarah said quietly.

"I'm sorry about that, Sarah," Reynold apologized.  "I wanted to, but I wasn't sure how you would handle it.  You see, he's gay as well.  I see now that I had nothing to worry about."

"I was afraid to tell you for the same reasons," she confessed with a bit of an embarrassed smile.

"Well, it looks like things are working out just fine," I mused aloud.

"No they aren't," Janice said rather loudly.  "We aren't eating yet."  A chorus of agreement from the three boys motivated everyone to move toward the dining room.  Grandma Sarah did ask Reynold what his son was doing for the holiday.  When she was told that he was sitting at home doing nothing.  He was immediately ordered to invite his son to join us.  Reynold went to use the phone while we stood guard between Janice and the table of food.  Moments later, Reynold returned and informed us that Scott would come over, but it would be a few minutes before he could get here.  We were asked to start eating without him.

"You heard the man," Janice exclaimed happily.  She caught sight of the look Grandma Sarah was giving her and stopped instantly.  "Yes ma'am," she said contritely.

"Honestly, the boy is, in his own words, a fashion queen," Reynold told us.  "He may take an hour to get here.  I really do suggest that we go ahead and eat."

"Very well," Grandma Sarah said unhappily.  "I want to go on record as protesting, though."

"What does he like to eat?" Janice asked seriously.  "I'll fix him a plate."  When no one answered, she looked around at our shocked faces.  "I'm not really as immature as you people seem to think I am, you know."

"We know that," I told her.  "You're actually much worse."  She stuck out her tongue at me.

We had been eating for about twenty minutes when the doorbell rang again.  This time Reynold went to answer it.  He came back in with a man a few years younger than me who looked oddly familiar.  He apparently had the same feeling because he was staring at Janice and me very closely.

"Everyone, this is my son, Scott," Reynold began.  "In friendlier settings, he prefers to go by…."

"Scooter," Janice and I said at the same time.

"Cameron! Janice!" he exclaimed.  The three of us stood there staring at one another for several seconds before any of us could move.  "It's nice to see you again."

"I can assume the three of you know one another," Reynold mused aloud.  Everyone was staring at us expectantly.  Well, everyone but Beth.  She was watching Janice.  It's probably a good thing she was as well.

"I don't mean to be rude, Scooter, I really don't, but I have to go now," Janice told him quickly.  "It is nice to see you, but I really wasn't prepared for it, you know."

"I understand," Scooter said sadly.  "It would be better if I left.  I don't want to ruin your day."

"You didn't, but I need to go now," Janice reiterated.  "I just need to… I just have to go now."  She and Beth left quickly after that.  Poor Scooter looked terrible.

"I didn't mean for her to have to leave," he told me.  "I didn't know you guys would be here."

"Of course you didn't," I assured him.  "She'll be ok.  She doesn't hate you or even dislike you.  It was just that it was a surprise seeing you again."

"Could one of you explain what is going on to the rest of us?" Edan asked softly.

"Janice is my best friend from high school," I began.  Edan and the boys nodded because they already knew that.  "She and I met first.  I didn't really get to know Scooter until later.  Janice had a job on the weekends working in a convenience store.  She and I had made plans to go see a movie after she got off work one night.  When I got to the store that night, I found the place being robbed."

"They weren't just robbing the place," Scooter added.  "I was in the store with my father when they came in.  My dad tried to stop them and they knifed him.  He died later in the hospital.  One of the guys wanted to rape Janice.  I told them they couldn't do that, so they raped both of us.  They were still going at it when Cameron arrived."

"I managed to stop them, but I took a stab wound to the chest doing it," I took over.  "Janice got the worst of the injuries.  She was so torn up inside that she had to have part of her uterus removed.  She can never bear children herself."  I looked over at Scooter with a smile.  "Scooter here saved our lives.  He called the paramedics for us after I collapsed."

"You saved our lives by killing the guys that had attacked us," Scooter deferred.  "You were the hero."  He paused with a sad sigh for a moment before continuing.  "After my dad died, I was put into foster care.  I had been in the program a couple of years by the time I met Reynold."

"You were a mess when you got to me," Reynold added.  "Not all foster homes are good places for children to live."  He looked at the rest of us as he said, "Scooter had been sexually molested in two of the foster homes he had been in before I got him.  My late wife and I couldn't turn him down even though our friends in the office told us that he was a high risk placement."

"The official word was that I had been molested," Scooter corrected.  "I wasn't the victim, though.  The foster dad was both times.  I had realized that I had liked having sex with older guys by then.  I threw myself at them until they gave in.  Their guilt over what happened is what caused me to get moved again.  I found a good home with Reynold and Lisbeth, though."

"He scared me half to death the first time we were alone together, though," Reynold recalled with a laugh.  "I was sitting there reading the paper when a naked sixteen year old boy jumps into my lap.  I thought I would have a heart attack right there and then."  I looked over at Derek and watched him blush a bit.  "It took some doing, but I finally convinced him that I was not only totally straight, but totally committed to Lisbeth."

"Cameron was incredible," Scooter remembered aloud.  "The guy stabbed him with the same knife he had used on my dad.  It punctured his lung, but he still managed to take out both of the guys before he collapsed.  It was like watching a Bruce Lee movie in person."

"Who's Bruce Lee?" Ephraim asked.  The adults in the room all looked at him for a moment.

"Your father didn't let you watch movies, did he?" Edan questioned.  When the boy shook his head, Edan responded with, "Well, that would explain it."

"I've seen lots of movies and I don't know who he is, either," Derek pointed out.

"I don't know what's wrong with these kids today," Scooter said, and then clapped his hand over his mouth.  "I've turned into Dad!" he gasped.  Edan, Reynold, Grandma Sarah and I all laughed at him and the still confused boys.

"That's why Janice and Beth are having the baby the way they are, isn't it?" Edan asked me seriously a moment later.  I nodded and he added, "I had wondered what the two of you had meant that day, but I felt it was too personal to ask her about."

"That's the reason," I confirmed.  "She has put the worst of it behind her, I believe.  Unfortunately, seeing Scooter again at the time she is thinking about it anyway with the baby situation must have been a little more than she could deal with in front of us.  When Janice gets upset, she likes to be alone to sort out her feelings.  When she's had enough time, she'll come out of hiding and it will be like nothing happened."

"I didn't mean to hurt her," Scooter said sadly.

"You didn't, but she knows that," I told him.  "She just wasn't ready to think about that day again.  She'll be fine in no time."

"I think I should try to stay away from her, in that case," Scooter observed.

"That's not necessary."  We all turned to see Janice standing in the doorway.  "I shouldn't have left the way that I did.  I don't want you to ever think that my pain is your fault, Scooter."  She paused as she reached out to him.  "It really is good to see you again, little buddy."

"I'm not so little any more," he teased lightly as he looked down at her.  They embraced for a moment before pulling me into the hug as well.  "The three musketeers are together again."

"Heaven help the world," Janice said.  "Let's hope it's ready for us this time."

The following Monday morning I got a phone call as I was getting ready for school.  When I answered, I was a little surprised to hear Janice's voice.  She told me that she had some bad news for Derek.

"I got a call this morning from the warden of the state prison," she informed me.  "Derek's father was killed last night in a fight with another inmate."

"That's terrible," I said sitting down as the impact hit me.  "I'm really not sure how Derek's going to respond to that."

"Someone has to arrange for funeral services," Janice pointed out. 

"I will handle that for him," I assured her.

"Tell him that I love him, and I'll be out to see him this afternoon," she told me before hanging up later.

I called Derek into my room from the breakfast table.  He knew something was up from the look on my face.  He responded well to my first comment though.

"I'm going to let you skip school today," I began.  He grinned for a moment before a questioning look wiped the happiness from my face.

"What's wrong, Dad?"

"Derek, I just got off the phone with Janice," I began slowly.  "She got a call this morning from the warden at the state prison.  Your father was killed last night in a fight with another inmate."

"Is that all?" Derek asked coldly. 

"Are you ok, son?" I asked.  "I know this news is upsetting."

"So the slimeball's dead," Derek told me harshly.  "Can I go to school now?  I have a test this morning in Biology."

"I don't think you should go today," I told him gently.

"Well, I do," he contradicted.  "You're not my father; he's dead!" he yelled and then ran from the room.  I heard him thunder upstairs before I could stop him.

"What happened to Derek?" Ephraim asked from the dining room.  He and Brendan had been eating.  Brendan was staring up the stairs as if he could still see his lover.

"Boys, I just had a phone call from Janice this morning," I explained.  "Derek's father was killed last night in a fight with another inmate at the state prison."

"I better go up and see if he's ok," Brendan said, standing up quickly.

"I would leave him alone for a couple of minutes," I advised.  "Derek might have had a terrible relationship with the man, but he was Derek's father.  Right now, we should let Derek figure out what he is feeling.  He's not likely to act like the Derek we know and love for the next couple of days."

"Dad, I'm sorry I yelled at you."  I turned to see Derek standing in the doorway.  There were trails on his cheeks from recent tears, but he seemed to have stopped crying for the moment.  "I think you were right; I don't think I want to go to school today."

"Brendan can stay home with you," I offered.  "No, Ephraim, you can go to school," I added before my younger son could say anything.

"Is it ok if I give you a hug, Derek?" Ephraim asked softly.

"It's always ok for that little bro," Derek smiled and held his arms open.  Ephraim jumped up from the table and ran to his brother.  "Yuck! You could have wiped the syrup off your face first, you little twerp."

"Sorry," Ephraim giggled.  He wiped his mouth on his sleeve before I could stop him.

"Where did you pick that up?" I questioned him.  He and Brendan both blushed so I knew I had my answer.  "Juvenile Delinkedywinks!" I scolded with a grin.

"What?" the three boys asked in triple stereo.

"It's from an old cartoon show I used to watch," I explained.  "Don't worry about it.  It was before your time."

"I've meant to ask you this before," Brendan began seriously.  "What was it like the first time you got to see a talking picture show?"

"Oh, a wise guy!" I imitated Curly from the Three Stooges.  "I should let the three of you do those impersonations," I told them.  "If there were ever three stooges, it's you boys."

"Why I oughta…" Brendan responded in form.

"NYUK NYUK NYUK," Derek added.

"I don't get it," Ephraim said looking at the three of us.

"We have to teach you the finer things in life," Brendan announced.  "Tonight after your homework, you are going to watch a Stooge-athon with me and Derek."

"With Derek and I," I corrected.

"You want to watch too?" Brendan asked innocently.  "That's cool.  We can watch the tapes down here instead of upstairs."

"With grammar like that, I may change my mind and send you to school after all, Brendan," I warned.  The look on Derek's face made me regret that joke.  "I was kidding.  In fact, I have changed my mind about today.  Ephraim can stay home with us as well."

"YAY!" Ephraim yelled.

"I wouldn't exactly call today something to celebrate," I pointed out gently. 

"I know that something bad happened, Dad," Ephraim told me in front of the other boys.  "I also know that something good happened.  You just said that I can stay home with my brother, though.  You don't understand how that makes me feel."  He paused as he collected his thoughts.  "My whole life before I came to live with you guys I was basically useless," he said slowly.  "I was the nuisance that had to be ditched on nice people like Grandma Sarah.  I was always told to be neither seen nor heard unless I was called for.  When I came here, you guys paid attention to me.  You made me feel like I mattered to somebody.  Derek most of all, because he showed me what it felt like to have a brother; something I had always wanted."

Ephraim wiped a tear from his eye before continuing.  "Today is the first time that somebody here might need me.  It's my first chance to do something for one of you, instead of the other way around.  The fact that Derek is the person who might need me makes it that much more special.  I can finally show him a good side of having a little brother."

"You showed me that the first day you were here, Effie," Derek whispered as he wiped tears from his own eyes.  "Come here, little buddy."  Derek wrapped his arms tightly around his little brother.  "I couldn't have asked for a better little brother, 'cause I got the best there is on the first try."

Two days later, standing in front of his father's casket, Derek once again had an explosion of emotions.  He was staring into the coffin and as we watched he began to shake and then to sob.  Brendan started toward him as did I, but Ephraim stopped us both.

"This is a brother job," he announced.  When he reached Derek, he stood there for a moment before speaking softly.  "I don't know what happened between you and this guy, but I kinda have an idea that he didn't want you around maybe.  The preacher was the same way with me.  I wondered for a long time why he didn't love me.  He was supposed to be my father, my dad.  After I came to live with you guys, I figured out the answer."

There was no response from Derek, so Ephraim continued.  "I know now that the preacher is not my father.  He never was.  Cameron Ragland is my dad.  He was always meant to be.  That still left me feeling really angry towards the preacher.  I hated him.  The thing is I didn't like myself for hating him.  It made me somebody I didn't like to be."

"So tell me O wise little brother," Derek said with a bit of sarcasm.  "How did you solve that problem?"

"I figured out who the preacher was," Ephraim answered simply.  "That's what you need to do now, I think."

"Oh you do, huh?" There was more sarcasm that time.  "So just who do you think this guy was?"

"He was the same guy for you that the preacher was for me," Ephraim answered.  "He was the guy that taught you how to appreciate Dad once you found him."

Derek stood silently for a moment longer before reaching over and pulling Ephraim into a hug.  "Stop growing up so fast, little buddy. I'm supposed to be the big brother."